Posted by monkeon on May 3, 2010
I’m not sure if they’ve undergone a change-of-style, but the current Club 18-30 website doesn’t actually mention vomiting multi-coloured sick, single sex packs of misogynists “on the pull”, showing your arse to late night ITV cameras or all the “fun” drinking games that only appeal to people incapable of conversational depth anywhere.
In fact, it kind of looks like a normal models-on-a-beach holiday site where you might book a holiday to relax, rather than to descend to one of the circles of hell.
I do quite like the FAQ where some bright spark has realised that they may sell more holidays if you increase the age range to 17-35, kind of defeating the concept and branding of the company and preventing me being able to get annoyed about being excluded from something I wouldn’t want to do anyway.
No such confusion in the 2001 version of the site, where the aim was clearly to market it squarely at crapulous fools…
We are welcomed to the site by this pulsating pink plectrum of a logo, and by a repeating sound effect of a surprisingly slow heart beat (which, despite sounding a bit like someone wafting cardboard, just reminds me of the way a heart beat is commonly used in cheap horror films to depict fear)…
It’s the first website I’ve found since Peter Stringfellow’s to have a warning message before we enter. What must we be cautious of?
So… although 90% of the site is dull advertising, let’s seek out this fun content. I have a surprisingly low tolerance of fun, so what will make me explode?
Fun 1: Shouting! Tits!
Fun 2: If three exclamation marks in a row is the correct grammar to use to signify that the author is a moron, what does four mean? IT MEAN IT BE THE BEAT FUN!!!!!
I wonder if, like the film, the Boogie Nights evening starts off exciting and slowly descends into a nightmare of drug abuse and prostitution?
Fun 3: Everything that was wrong with the late 90s is encapsulated in this sentence:
Fun 4: The “Run up the sand and round the pole.” game.
Sadly, this game wasn’t archived but I can only imagine it is as much fun as the real thing (ie no fun).
The thing that bugs me most, though, is this introduction (they use 228 words to describe a game which could be adequately explained in a text message)
– No, no we haven’t “all done it”. If someone suggested to me that we do that, then I would probably attempt to drown them in the nearest duck pond.