Your Old Crap Website | 90s Web Design

Dredging the internet archives 1996-2001 – Websites then and now

Archive for October, 2010


Posted by monkeon on October 25, 2010

Wrigley used to have both a and a .com site. You can tell which is which by the animations. While the UK one has a javascript rotation of their many types of gum, the .com has a more worldly feel.

“We want to show that we’re a global brand in the form of an animated gif. As literally as possible, please.”

The UK site is certainly friendlier in tone, though. In fact, like David Frost, they feel the need to welcome you three times…

What is particularly mind-blowing about the second welcome is that it changes depending on the time of day due to the cutting edge javascript they have on the page…

Good (early) morning to you too!

There is one more javascript surprise in store for us. But, before we find it, let’s take time out to read a short play that they have kindly hosted.

Obviously, in this play, the “gum” represents smack, and the “Voice Over” represents the voice in the addict’s head, forcing him against his will to try it. With the dramatic pauses, this play has a running time of half an hour.

And now it’s time to leave the site. “But what about our javascript surprise?”, I hear you ask.

Well, the surprise happens when you leave the site, in the form of an unexpected pop up.

I have made a similar thing for the inside of my toilet door.


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Posted by monkeon on October 6, 2010

The designer of the Lexmark site in 2000 was clearly listening in class, because as we all know, the first rule of animated .gif school – if you find how to do a new effect…

… do it again…

… and again.

In fairness, their other attempt at animation was, well, what is it exactly? My guess is that it’s an outtake from some lost Luis Bunuel film*.

(* Congratulations to @poohugh on Twitter for correctly identifying the gap in my artistic knowledge that is On The Beach by Manet)

At their marketing meeting, Lexmark must have considered all possible users of their printers. There are two types of people.

Firstly, look at this tool in a suit…

He’s a man, so he wants a “Professional Printer”, of course.

Now who do Lexmark think should stay at home and want a “Home Printer”?

Let’s find out by looking at what they’ve called the Home Printer page…

And here she is, the woman. Look at Lexmark’s idea of an woman… being an idiot at home. She clearly doesn’t even know what a printer is. She hasn’t even plugged it in. Her husband will do that when he gets home from using his Professional Printer at work.

Ban this sexist filth.

Sorry, I mean…

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